I'm a loser/failure
I started to design a sercice robot to try and do things for me that I can't manage and be cool. But I fail at all the electronics design and programming in my simulation. And I smashed my laptop in frustration.
I sound like I'm whining about every little thing so I try to just stay out of the way.
I can't figure out the rule of being cool or visual design or framing ideas or which things to say first and which to say last, so I just have to create the most flexible system I can come up with and work as hard as I can to present my ideas that hopefully somebody will find use of and isn't disappointed. But it's so exhausting keeping up with the state of the art options from smarter people and offering all the choices I cant figure out what people want that I can actually accomplish with consistency.
I had to ask my father for paperwork help and assistance when I was 46 years old and he had to help me drive a u-haul over a 1000 miles when he was age 80. That doesn't make me much of a man.
I'm like that depressed robot in the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. Annoying.
Everyone wants to say "get your shit together" but they just walk away instead. "Stop feeling sorry for yourself" I'm sure is on their mind too.